It is very important that you find supports so you can stay strong in your adoption journey. Whether you are just considering the process, in the middle of raising one or more adopted children, facing the challenging years that threaten to tear everything apart or past the point where these children are in your home; you need to make sure you never back off of core principles to get a short-term result.
This may mean being firm when it seems like giving in is the only way to keep them attached to you. It could mean being gentle when everything in you wants to damn them and write them completely out of your life.
Neither harshness nor undue weakness is good, you must be firm in a good manner. Some of this may go against the grain of others, but it will ultimately be the best for them, whatever the final result is.