Monday, May 11, 2009

Flitting in and Out

My daughter (the one who decided the rules at home were too much, the few that existed) flitted into church today, said hello to everyone and then flitted away after the service was over. She was chipper as ever, though I think she is, unfortunately, very fake right now.

Dealing with reality may be tough, but it is ultimately the only way to go. It is really annoying to be rejected once again, but I can't do much about it so I have to continue on.

I sure hope this gets easier, at least on an emotional level, but only time will tell that.


Sunday, May 03, 2009

Fighting Off Depression

Getting to the "end of the road" and having all 4 children leave at 17 is a pretty lousy outcome of our journey. My youngest decided a week or so ago that she couldn't live with the very limited rules we had when she was home, so she is gone now as well. She had been working in a nearby city at a specialized trade and coming home for a day or so most weekends, but she came home with an attitude, especially against me, more and more frequently.

I don't want her to be gone and it is not right, but it is what it is. Hopefully she will find her way before she does something that permanently impacts her life for the worse.

This stirred up more feelings for me to process. Blech.

My oldest son, his wife and my granddaughter are living with us for a while now. My son goes into boot camp this summer and they will all move together for his advanced training.

Lots still needs to be fixed, but I should focus on what progress he has made. I will write more later, but I think I have withdrawn almost too much, making it harder to connect. I will have to just keep working through things.


Watch Your Marriage!

While I knew my children were really good at triangulating and splitting people against each other, including my wife and I, I hadn't realized how deep this ability could interrupt my wife and I. Looking back, it almost killed our marriage, literally. I am not sure exactly what I would have done differently, but I would definitely have worked to prevent this had I realized the serious danger.

I thought my wife and I were fairly solid, but it turns out she had been turned very much against me. This is not a general marriage blog, so I won't go into the full details, but she had almost been swayed and I believe ended up blaming me for many things that really weren't my fault.

Our society really needs to figure out how to deal with this. Many children are stuck in the system, but adopting them without firm support for the many troubles that are almost guaranteed is quite dangerous.