Saturday, January 15, 2011

Thankfulness is Missing

My daughter, her husband and my granddaughter have been living with us for a few months now, but things are really not much different than when they were gone. Sure, we see them more frequently, but no deep connection really exists. My daughter is still incredibly proud and insists that she can "do it on her own" even though that is quite far from reality.

I am not sure this will ever change. While age may help engender gratefulness, we live in a "take" society and I am wonder if some of the (minimal in recent times) push from society to be thankful for what you did have is not very strong at all today.

So many people "don't want help," but that is really not accurate. They want the help, they just don't want any "strings" with it at all, even verbal reminders about being thankful.

Ironically, after all my wife and I have done, my daughter still doesn't want even a somewhat close relationship with me. I may be seeing things through my own bias, but I suspect she would much rather have a close relationship with her birthfather than she would with me.

Ah well. I do not have the "family" I was aiming for, even really a dysfunctional one. I have children who are glad to take from me at times, but who will not let me be a father at all.

That is quite frustrating, but all I can do is to try to keep growing so I can adapt and be the best I can be.