Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Birth Fathers can be a Mess Too!

All the stories I read about in the past referred to the birth mother reconnecting with her children, yet in our case it is the birth father. Ironically, he pushes for all the involvement to be for he and his current wife, completely excluding the birth mother (as much as he controls things), believing in "blood" when it is convenient and ignoring it (such as for his wife being "mom") when it is not.

He is the one my oldest calls "daddy" and that probably hurts the most, since that was the role I thought I would get to play when building a family. I wasn't even allowed at her wedding because "her father" (her words in a text message) didn't want me there.

It sucks, but it is life. No one really understands, especially not the other children. They don't want to deal with it, so any attempt on my part to get them to consider their own role in things gets me labeled as the one stirring up trouble.

You will have to learn to keep quiet in a case like this. I am not sure exactly how I will walk it out, but it is so ironic that I cannot have the open relationship I strongly seek with my children because another has gripped their heart and minds. Ironically, though he proclaimed to be committed to "letting them make their own decisions" in the past, he is very controlling and will definitely "buy them" or do anything in his power to get them to move near him.

Nothing I can do but sit and watch. Make sure you know what you may be signing up for!