Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Point of Things

This blog faces a challenge beyond that of just writing things steadily. Knowing what to write about is a bit more challenging than I thought going into this. My own experience has been very frustrating, to put it mildly, but what is the point of just noting the problems and troubles endlessly? While venting may help for a bit, ultimately that is not a good strategy.

This is not meant to be a general guide to adoption either. Many other sources cover that in far more depth than I could. This is meant to present my thoughts, from the perspective of an adoptive father of 4 siblings that came from the US social services system.

I have done a couple of "here's some ideas" posts, but I am not sure what more to say. I suppose just writing about my thoughts as I continue to work through things with my adult children is the point. Hopefully this will help someone else down the line. Perhaps its value will be in many years, when all the posts can be viewed as a stream, rather than as a specific "I have to actively track this" forum.

Many other adoptive fathers are sure to go through this. I do those starting out the process to really think through the issues. Get good reference books, like Adopting the Hurt Child and Parenting the Hurt Child. Those books cover many of the things we faced. As bad as things were, I don't think they were that bad, but I can certainly relate.

This is not the easy road many will proclaim and the "you're a saint" encouragements will only last for a while, while the trouble will go on. These children do need help, but it takes a special man to provide it and to still keep his marriage intact.

Build your life on prayer as well! I could not have survived this without a deep relationship with my Lord Jesus Christ. This sucks far too much for that.

You will have some successful times, but you will also have many tough times. Have something more than you to rely on!

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