As I noted in my last post, I have had a bit of a restored relationship with our youngest daughter. That is a good thing, but I note that my own feelings go up and down. I really try to stay up, so I can support my children as they need it, but it is hard to stay up all the time, even after a seeming success.
Those heading into this route need to realize they may never achieve the true family they are seeking. I am not sure my children really know what a father is at this point.
The birthfather thinks biology is destiny, and it is to some extent. They all are still pulled to him, even though he continually falls short of what they want from him. Their expectations and desires of him are likely a bit high, but many are just "time and attention" needs. Ironically though, they don't always seek that from me, though perhaps I didn't do it right either. We all have our challenges being the ideal parent you see on so many "parenting success" shows, so neither he nor I can meet what they want.
That said, their is an element of respect for a father that is definitely missing in my children. The birthfamily did not really have that, at least not in the manner I was raised.
No solutions here, just some thoughts that hopefully can help someone else out, especially if you are starting this path.