I had cut off all my contact with the birthfather (after being very open with him) when I found out he deceived me to take my daughter to my youngest son's graduation from boot camp. (And she went along with that!) She was supposed to be going with him to a friend's wedding. Stupid me....
She will be going up there this week because of the death of her oldest birth-brother however. I am not going. If she gets sucked into staying I will live with that. I wouldn't put it past the birthfather to pull at her, but the largest pull will likely be from her older sister who had been planning on getting her to move up there when she turned 17 (the legal age to leave home in our state) a short while ago.
I don't know if the emotional roller coaster will ever be done, but I will be so glad if it ever is.