Friday, December 23, 2005

Is There Hope?

I will warn anyone considering adopting from the CPS system to do a lot more investigation than most people do. It does take a good bit of idealism to even venture into this area, but watch that your idealism doesn't blind you to the harsh realities that are likely to arise down the line.

Even the best children in the system have been hurt in some manner. And parenting a hurt child takes a lot more than most parents realize. Are you ready for feedback from many who just don't get it? What will you do when your own relatives tell you to just "lighten up" on children when you are just barely holding things together?

Hopefully I can regain my initial sense of optimism, but going through the ringer with such children has a way of rapidly draining away such enthusiasm. As a Christian, I know that God is in charge of everything and I know that He was not surprised, but that doesn't make it any easier to walk through.

If you are heading down this path, find someone who has been down it before. Don't just believe the "adoption stories" shows on TV. They rarely focus on the long term, and I have yet to see one that turned out poorly. (Though what do you expect from a "feel good" show. No one would want to watch and "adoption failures" show after all, at least not outside of trash TV shows.)

Maybe you will be successful, and I pray you will, but you are much more likely to succeed if you find out what you are facing ahead of time.


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